First Ever

So, I had my FIRST EVER Wedding meltdown.

I guess my feelings had been so cooped up inside, I had been biting my tongue for so much that I had just gotten to a point where it was all too much.

At the end of the day it came to me feeling like;
- I have very little control or opinions about our wedding.
- I felt like I was being excluded from alot of decisions.
- All decisions have to go through his Mum first, even decisions that can be made by him & I.
- I am compromising on so much. But when will his mum compromise with us.
-The wedding is not about us, it's about her.

At the end of the day... I'm more than willing to compromise BUT all I ask is that I be included or feel included in some decisions.

It's now a week later, I still feel low in emotions. I have lost the willpower, drive, excitement to plan the wedding. So at the moment things have just taken a step back.

I really for hubby though. I felt he felt how bad I was feeling  and I think he was even in tears because he knew how bad I was feeling.

We haven't gone to lunch at his mums since though. I haven't felt good to the point where I want to be seated around a table plaster on a smile and pretend that I'm happy.

Watch this space.